How Henderdong Built a Cashfag Army Without Even Trying

Henderdong Treated Me Like I Was Beneath Him

Henderdong and I had the same friends. He was a blue-collar kind of guy, athletic and good looking. At 5’9″, I looked up to him when we would speak, but when we did, I always felt intimidated in his presence.

When Henderdong was around, I didn’t feel like one of the boys. He didn’t treat me like one of them, either. He had me running around, doing this for him, frequently. For example, if we were at the movies, he would sit comfy while I stood in line getting him popcorn (and some for the guys, too, since he was a gentleman and asked anybody else if they wanted anything while I was out there). When we were at a sports bar, I would always be there ahead of Henderdong, really only to reserveĀ  a spot at the table for him. He would literally walk in, thumb over his shoulder while walking towards me, and immediately ease into my seat within a second of me getting up.

Henderdong didn’t have to ask me to do anything. Though we didn’t speak as buddies, he and I could sort of sense each other out. Anytime he looked at me, it was because he wanted something done. Anytime we walked, I would open the door before him, fast enough so that he didn’t have to slow down to go through it. When he were at my place, where the guys and I hung out at a lot, his entrance meant my exit – to the garage to get the car wax and garden hose, so that I could wash his truck.

Henderdong didn’t have to ask me to do anything.

I always knew what beer to have in the fridge for Henderdong. I always bought his ticket when I bought mine when the guys and I would go to the movies. I had a connection with Henderdong, we were in sync, even though we didn’t really speak to one another. There was a guy like him and a guy like me, and between the two of us, I wasn’t the alpha male, the jock, the good-looking or confident one.

We didn’t have a name for our unique relationship. I simply did what I had wanted to do, to help Henderdong, not that he needed me. From the moment we met, I just sort of knew my place in the world. He awakened something in me, something I had never felt before, and likely won’t with anyone else. I didn’t want to do anything gay to the guy. It wasn’t a sexual thing. Like a duck touching water for the first time, my purpose began when I met the dude.

Serving Henderdong wasn’t something I went out of my way to do. It was just what I did, no different then eating or sleeping.

Henderdong Became My Alpha Male

My Servitude to Henderdong Awoke an Inferiority in Others

Something unexpected happened during my servitude to Henderdong, however. Something that had forced me to up my game a little. By publicly respecting Henderdong more than my own self, people began to take notice. Sure, there were jocks – some even friends of ours – who called me names for being inferior to Henderdong. But there were others who were in awe of both he and I, in different ways. I sort of started a movement by showing my appreciation for the superior male. Maybe I encouraged others to unleash their inferiority, but other guys started doing things for Henderdong.

I was one of the guys until Henderdong started hanging out with us.

I would meet the guys at a bar and see some other guy paying for Henderdong’s tab. At the movies, guys were buying candy and pop with their own snacks, for Henderdong. Some even went so far as to send him gifts – even cash! It wasn’t long before other guys were cleaning his hockey gear – one guy per piece of equipment. I once saw three men approach him within a span of ten minutes – one giving him sharpened skates, another a clean jockstrap, and another a bag of fresh white sweatsocks.

It wasn’t fair. I felt expendable, totally left out. My first thought was to talk to Henderdong, but because we didn’t have much of a spoken-word friendship, I didn’t know what to say. Figuring that actions speak louder than words, I started doing spontaneous things for Henderdong. If someone bought him socks, I bought him brand-name designer pairs. If someone brought him back a repaired hockey stock, I bought him a brand new one. If someone delivered him Tim Horton’s coffee, I delivered him a $50 Timmy’s gift card. Pleasing Henderdong became something of a competition. It was a war between the inferiors, with a sole superior reaping the benefits.

I Was Inferior to My Buddy's Little Bro

Henderdong Manged His Followers into a Well-Oiled Machine

Our worship of Henderdong may have spoiled him. He became used to eating quality (expensive) food, wearing comfortable clothing and having things done for him. Anyone who wasn’t contributing to Henderdong’s lifestyle became deadwood, banished from our little unofficial pack.

The Henderdong experience evolved once he hand-picked people for specific tasks. Henderdong liked things done a certain way, so one of us would do something exclusive just for him. It was a simple plan. We were minions, and Henderdong was our top dog. Our tasks were structured, everyone was on the same page, and by minimizing the work load of each person, Henderdong’s ‘cashfags‘, or whatever you would call us, became a well-oiled machine. There was always a back up slave to take care of Henderdong, in case of an absence. He had the natural mindset of a manager.

When you couldn’t bring him stuff, you needed to be creative and find other things to do for Henderdong.

But there’s only so much coffee a big dude like him can drink. Only so many clothes he can fit into his closet. Only so many times you can clean his cleats or scrub his toilet. When you couldn’t bring him stuff, you needed to be creative and find other things to do for Henderdong. You had to think outside the box to please our alpha male. For example, his dirty clothes left on his floor would be washed and folded the next time he saw them. His feet were already in your hands once his sock came off his giant foot.

My Best Friend's Kid Brother Bosses Me Around

Serving Henderdong is Just a Way of Life

Henderdong wasn’t a dick to us. He treated us from time to time, which was a bonus. For example, his big toe would sometimes brush against your lip while you rubbed his foot, and you would savor the taste of his sweat. Or, he would let you sneak in a sniff of his feet if you were lucky enough to un-lace his running shoes. At times, he even let you keep a pair of his dirty socks, which was a big deal, because for us, washing one of Henderdong’s socks clean was like torture. Imagine if someone handed you a $10 bill, and instructed you to rip it up and throw it away. That’s what it felt like to purge the stink off Henderdong’s dirty white socks.

At the end of the day, people are always going to judge us for serving Henderdong. That’s fine. They just don’t get it. We know our place in life, and as such, we are all genuinely happy. Listening to someone snicker while we scurry around serving someone superior to us simply doesn’t matter. Serving Henderdong is just a way of life. Everything else we do is for a larger purpose, a means to an end, and our end is HENDERDONG.

Serving an Alpha Male Bully is Just a Way of Life

NOTE: Henderdong can be your bully too. Check out his website for more info.